5 Steps to a Worry-Free Life

We've all laid awake at night, our minds humming with thoughts of the challenges we're facing in our lives, the financial problems we're having or how we're going to manage to get everything done we need to do the following day. From time to time, we find ourselves sitting at work while we're mentally in another place and time, fretting about the argument we had with our best friend or what we're going to wear on our date Saturday night. Sometimes, it seems like we're so preoccupied with worrying about past or future events that we miss much of what's happening in the present.

While there are many circumstances we face in our lives that properly cause us concern, there's a difference between concern and worry. Worrying is virtually always counterproductive, as our preoccupation magnifies negative possibilities and causes us lost sleep, adrenaline rushes, problems concentrating and feelings of helplessness.

But there are steps we can take to get off the worry roller coaster, which will ultimately allow us to live more balanced and positive lives.

1. Write Down Your Worries

Take three sheets of paper and label them "Past," "Present" and "Future." Whether you have one nagging worry or a whole laundry list, write down every concern that's keeping you from enjoying your life to the fullest. Nagging thoughts about the stupid remark you made at your high school reunion would go on the sheet marked "Past." Concern about your irregular menstrual periods would be listed on the "Present" sheet. And the feeling of trepidation about spending Christmas with your parents goes on the sheet marked "Future." After each item, jot down the worst-case scenario - the thing you think might happen that you dread the most. Then write down how that occurrence would impact your life.

2. Rate Your Worries

Go through your list of worries and, on a scale of 1 to 10, assign a number to each one based on how likely the worst-case scenario will come to fruition. The likelihood that your experience at your high school reunion will cause your reputation irreparable harm is probably a 2; the possibility that you're dying of a gynecological cancer could be a 4; the chance that you'll get in a screaming argument with your parents and have a miserable holiday may be a 9. Using the same rating scale, go back and mark up your list according to how much control you have over the situation. You probably can't do much about your reunion remark, so that would rate a 1; you can go to your doctor to check out what's happening with your periods and receive medical attention, if necessary, so that would rate an 8; you can make the decision to celebrate Christmas in the Bahamas, thereby avoiding your family altogether, so let's call that a 10. Now add up your ratings for each worry: the likelihood rating plus the control rating equals the action quotient.

3. Prioritize Your Worries

Rank your worries according to their action quotient and review your list. You'll find that those with low scores, like the high school reunion remark, are exaggerated worries. The chances of your reputation being ruined are small, and besides, there's not a whole lot you can do at this point. Write out an alternative scenario for these worries. Your old school chums may not even remember your faux pas, or if they do, they probably don't assign the significance to it that you do. The next time a worry with a low action quotient surfaces, call to mind your alternative scenario. Over time, you'll begin to believe it, and your worry will disappear.

4. Act on Your Worries

Review your worries that scored a high action quotient. You can let go of that helpless feeling and do something to change the dreaded outcome. Perhaps you don't want to hear your mom scold you for the next six months about not coming home for Christmas, but you can certainly buy a non-refundable ticket to the Bahamas and book that lovely hotel on the beach. And the next time that worry surfaces, you can dismiss it, knowing that your family-free tropical holiday is a done deal.

5. Sort out the Rest of Your Worries

Take a look at the worries that ranked a mid-range action quotient. You may decide that some of them aren't worth your while to worry about any longer, and you can come up with alternative thoughts that you can repeat to yourself when worries surface. Others, like seeing the doctor for your irregular periods, are worries you should address. If you find that your fear of the - albeit remote - worst-case scenario is paralyzing you to the point where you can't take action, enlist the help of a friend. Ask her to go with you to the doctor or whatever else it takes to get the information you need to put your worry to rest.

If, after you've tried to alleviate the counterproductive worrying in your life, you still find yourself obsessed with concerns and fears or your worries are interfering with your daily activities, you should consult a mental health professional. You may have an anxiety disorder, which is often caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Anti-depressants and other medications are readily available which will help you to lead a more peaceful life.

While a completely worry-free existence is hard to achieve in today's pressure-filled society, eliminating unnecessary worries can free you from the past and the future and allow you to enjoy and celebrate the present.

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