Perhaps it’s genetic. While my sister, Sue, does include pumpkin pie in the family holiday dinner menu, one of the things I adore about her is that she also concocts a to-die-for chocolate dessert. Recently, Sue and I reminisced about our mother, who once spent two days trying to create chocolate ravioli for her gourmet club’s Italian-themed dinner. The concept was sound: the “pasta” was white chocolate, softened and placed in a ravioli mold; the filling was chocolate mousse; and the sauce was dark chocolate. But the execution of this concept was another matter. While Mom eventually got enough “keepers” for the dinner, it took several pounds of white chocolate and repeated outbursts of “Jesus, Joseph and Mary” (our mother’s strongest epithet).

If you share my family’s passion for the fruit of the cacao tree, the holiday season presents abundant opportunities to indulge in a revelry of chocolate. Instead of having an eggnog-and-hors d’oeuvres party this year, tempt the palates of your friends with a chocolate tasting party. In her book, The New Taste of Chocolate, Maricel Presilla suggests that, when doing a taste test, you should select chocolates with similar cacao counts – in other words, don’t present both milk chocolate and dark chocolate. Buy chocolate from a variety of manufacturers, break each chunk into small pieces and use a eye-catching display to arrange each brand on its own plate. Provide each of your guests with a scorecard, so they can rate the color, aroma, taste and texture of the chocolate. Then compare notes and reveal the true identity of each chocolate. For added pizzazz in a group of true chocolate lovers, develop a chocolate trivia quiz, and give out prizes for the top scorers. (Q: Who was the first European to come in contact with cacao? A: Christopher Columbus.)

Another option for the holidays or any other time of year is a chocolate dessert party. Each guest brings a chocolate dessert, which is then divided up among the other guests, who then take home a veritable smorgasbord of chocolate. For true chocolate lovers, this is a very egalitarian party – there’s no need for everyone to spend hours in the kitchen trying to make the perfect chocolate soufflé. That’s because, in our eyes, a rich chewy brownie is just as delectable as the most delicate Sachertorte.

If you want to go one step further – or to non-chocoholics, one step overboard – you can create a whole dinner out of chocolate. With a pasta machine, chocolate noodles are a snap; create a light, fruity sauce and your guess will swoon. Use a hint of chocolate in sauces for beef, or go south of the border and whip up a mole sauce of chiles and chocolate for a Mexican feast. If eggnog is a must for your holiday gathering, melt semisweet chocolate into the milk before combining with the other ingredients. One piece of advice: pass on trying to make the chocolate ravioli!

Even if you won’t be hosting a holiday party this season, chances are you’ll be a guest at one. Chocolate can make for intriguing variations on the typical hostess gifts. Instead of sending flowers the day after the party, why not send a dozen strawberry roses from Shari’s Berries (www.berries.com)? Gourmet chocolate-dipped strawberries are their specialty, but they also offer other delightful hostess gifts.

Likewise, Pinterest offers a variety of gorgeous and intriguing “flower” arrangement ideas, including some made from Hershey’s Kisses and Ghirardelli chocolate bars.

Or instead of arriving with a bottle of wine in hand, why not bring a bottle of Godiva Liqueur (www.bevmo.com)? Over ice or over ice cream, the dark original liqueur or the white chocolate version will leave them screaming for more.

This holiday season, let’s put pumpkin pie in perspective, pass on the sugar cookies and dump the fruitcake. Instead, let’s deck the halls with bouquets of chocolate.

Delve Deeper
Chocolate Bits

• The cacao tree, from which chocolate is derived, grows near the equator
• White chocolate really isn’t, since it is made from cocoa butter, rather than cacao beans
• The difference between bittersweet, semisweet and milk chocolates is the ratio of cocoa solids, sugar and total fat content. Bittersweet has the highest proportion of cocoa solids (60% or more) while milk chocolate has about 36%
• Eating chocolate may make you feel good because it contains the neurotransmitter anandamide, which has a similar effect on the brain as the active ingredient in marijuana
• The scientific name for the cacao tree, Theobroma cacao, means “food-of-the-gods cacao”

Sources: www.exploratorium.edu; The Chocolate Bible, by Christian Teubner; The New Taste of Chocolate, by Maricel Presilla

Greenhalgh, who is a professor of anthropology at Harvard, presents a collection of 45 narratives gathered from college students about their concepts of weight, fat, and body image. She finds that decades of “fat talk” has damaged and shamed young people in a variety of ways.

Greenhalgh notes that it’s been 15 years since the public health campaign has been launched, but in reality it’s been 21 years since Hillary Clinton and former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop launched “Shape Up America” in the White House Rose Garden. I remember that day well, since Lynn McAfee (one of the foremothers of the fat acceptance movement) and I protested the announcement on the sidewalk in front of the White House.

The other bookend to weight shaming is First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign, launched in February 2010 to specifically target fat children. In an email exchange between Greenhalgh and NPR contributor Barbara King, Greenhalgh wrote, “All of us are making war on fat through constant fat-talk. Yet because very few people can lose weight and keep it off, the pervasive fat-talk does not have its intended effect; instead, it is causing terrible, yet often, invisible harm.”

She continues, “The harm to individuals includes emotional distress and, often, physical injury from trying too hard to lose weight. The war on fat is also damaging critical social relationships, especially the crucial bond between mother and daughter. The stigma and discrimination against fat people are now well known; what isn’t known is that the human costs of the war on fat itself are harmful to people of all sizes and to us as a nation.”

Fat children don’t have a safe haven. Schoolmates bully fat kids, but parents often don’t rally to their children’s defense. In fact, many parents are embarrassed by their fat kids and view bullying as further evidence that their child should redouble his or her efforts to lose weight. The education system reinforces fat shaming. When my son was in elementary school, the school had an annual assembly featuring “Mr. Slimbody Goodbody” – at least until I managed to stop it by pointing out that fat kids were getting the message that fat bodies were bad bodies.

In ninth grade, California high school students are required to pass five of six physical fitness tests. If they don’t, they must continue to take P.E. and be retested each year until they take it. Here’s the catch. One of the six “fitness tests” is “body composition,” using skinfold measurements, body mass index (BMI), or a bioelectric impedance analyzer. In other words, if a child fat, s/he already has one strike; s/he must pass each of the five other tests: one mile run, curl-ups, push-ups, trunk lift, and shoulder stretch. Then, of course, there’s the humiliation of being weighed or having your fat pinched at school.

Nowhere is there a recognition that fit bodies come in all sizes; on the contrary, high schools are reinforcing the idea that the only good bodies are slim bodies.

Resources

(Click on an image to buy or learn more)

While we usually consider dessert to be a course served at the end of a meal, some folks live by the credo, “Life’s too short, so eat dessert first!” If that’s your motto, why not host a dessert party? You can make your own selection of goodies or ask each person to bring a sweet and a sweetie. A dessert party works great in the evening, but is also perfect for an afternoon tea-something so fashionable these days, we may be breaking out the white gloves again soon.

Should you opt for a goodie-gathering, make sure to also serve a savory or two. Pretty sandwiches, stuffed mushrooms, pastry cups filled with ham salad or any savory mixture, bowls of olives and almonds (bowls of each, of course!), or like the Scandinavians, toppling piles of roughly cut homemade brown bread, buttered and topped with sliced cheese. If you’re taken by the idea of dessert-only dining, an alternative is to follow dessert with a lightly dressed salad, after the Continental fashion. It levels out the sugar rush and tastes very refreshing.

Lest you still consider dessert to be an afterthought following a meal, keep in mind that you can also create a treat eye-pleasing enough to earn its own place at the table – as a centerpiece. A beautifully arranged bowl of fruit qualifies, as can a fetching cheese plate under a dome, especially if you include edible flowers. Or consider a towering croquembouche – tasty globes held together by drizzled strands of melted sugar. It can be purchased, but it’s simpler to make that you might think.

Another crowd-pleaser that can do double duty as decoration is Pavlova Magic. This Australian treat is sold in an egg-shaped container in many stores and also in numerous food catalogs. The package contains the ingredients for a large meringue and custard to put in the center. Just add fruit and you’ve come up with a winner from Down Under!

Desserts can also become gifts. If you have a special cake or brownie or cookie you make, layer the dry components into a pretty glass container and paste on a label that lists the recipe and the rest of the ingredients. Voilà-an inexpensive but very personal present.

For a pretty and pretty simple fruit dessert, grill pineapple wedges (keep the leaves on!) on a slightly oiled rack until just charred and serve with ice cream. For a variation on the Italian custom of serving strawberries with balsamic vinegar and freshly cracked pepper, try this idea: Simmer one cup strawberry syrup with 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar until reduced to about one cup of liquid. Pour over dishes of halved fresh strawberries and top with a dollop of sour cream and a drift of cracked pepper. Belissima!

But how could we speak of dessert without mentioning one of nature’s most perfect foods? For chocoholics, a dessert just isn’t unless one of the ingredients comes from those delectable cacao beans. From parfaits to mousses, from truffles to candy bars, from cheesecakes to brownies, chocolate can find a place in virtually any dessert. If you’re a chocolate lover and have a group of like-minded friends, a dessert party becomes all the more enthralling, with guests not only sharing their favorite treats, but also rhapsodizing about the wonders of the best chocolate desserts they’ve ever eaten.

Whatever your druthers – cheese, chocolate or something in between – dessert is a multi-functional treat. Share it, give it as a gift, use it as part of your table setting, but most of all – eat it and enjoy!

Delver Deeper

Crème de la Crème
A toothsome concoction known as Crème Brûlée – a silky custard topped with a burnt sugar crust – is a dessert that looks harder to make than it really is. There’s a recipe for this popular item in just about every cookbook, but if you’re serious about the subject, buy, beg or borrow a yummy little book called Elegantly Easy Créme Brûlée & Other Custard Desserts by Debbie Puente (Renaissance Books, 1998, $15.99). It has every possible recipe from classic to Caribbean (which tastes like a Piña Colada) to Eggless Créme Caramel. Other offerings include roasted red pepper and chocolate espresso brûlées and sugarless maple custard. It also provides all the techniques for preparation and caramelizing, which is either done via broiler or kitchen blowtorch. An added bonus is the final chapter, which gives tips on how to make sweet somethings like chocolate boxes and botanical ice bowls, which will add pizzazz to your dessert presentation.

Books

(Click on image to buy or for more information)

If you were wearing anklet socks and Mary Janes the last time you poured at a tea party, you may be surprised to know that tea time has become the latest trend in entertaining. No longer relegated to little girls and their dollies, tea parties are a wonderful excuse to gather friends together in an informal yet imaginative setting.

The mannerly rituals associated with pouring tea, combined with the delicious tidbits served with the brew and great conversation, make for a delightful afternoon gathering. In this workaday world, traditional afternoon teas – usually held at four o’clock – are probably best reserved for the weekends, when you have time to prepare and your friends have time to relax.

Your afternoon tea can be as simple or as elegant as you would like. If you’re not inclined to fuss, the minimum requirements are a teapot, a tea ball, cups and saucers, teaspoons, lump sugar, milk, lemon, snacks, boiling water and – of course – tea.

While the Camellia sinesis plant yields over 3,000 varieties of tea, there are basically three types: green tea, which consists of steaming fresh leaves before heat-drying; black tea, which is produced by allowing leaves to ferment before firing; and oolong tea, which is partially oxidized, and has a color and tasted somewhere between green and black teas. It should be noted that herbal teas – while tasty and soothing – do not contain any real tea leaves.

For the novice, a good choice for an afternoon tea is a blend of black teas, such as English Breakfast or Earl Grey. Tea bags are verboten at an afternoon tea, so be sure to buy it in loose-leaf form.

In order to brew a perfect cup of tea, start with good water. If the taste of your tap water is reminiscent of a well-used swimming pool, use the bottled variety. In order to pre-warm the pot, which will keep your tea hotter longer, fill your teapot with hot water and let it sit. Then, pour fresh cold water into your teakettle. If you’re using tap water, let the water run a few moments before filling the kettle so that it becomes full of oxygen, which will bring out the full flavor of the tea. Bring the water to a rolling boil, but don’t let the boiling water sit on the stove too long, or it will lose its oxygen, resulting in flat-tasting tea.

Measure the tea (one teaspoon per person) into the tea ball (a small perforated metal ball), making sure that it’s loose enough so that the water can infuse it properly. Empty the hot water out of the teapot, place the tea ball inside, and immediately pour the boiling water over it. Let it brew for three to five minutes, then remove the tea ball. Voila! You have the perfect pot of tea.

The pot of tea should be placed upon a tray, along with a kettle of hot water, bowl of lump sugar and tongs, plate of lemon slices, and pitcher of milk and carried into the room where your guests are gathered. You may then ask a good friend, “Would you do the honor of pouring?” According to Judith Martin’s (a.k.a. Miss Manners) Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, “Being asked to pour is an honor just short of knighthood.”

Guests come up to the person pouring, who asks, “How would you like your tea?” If the answer is “strong,” a cup is poured from the teapot. If the answer is “weak,” the tea is diluted in the cup with hot water from the kettle. The guest should then be asked if she would like sugar (yes, the pourer can say, “One lump or two?”), milk or lemon, with these items added accordingly.

If you’d like to add some elegance to your tea party, you can incorporate items such as a copper kettle over an alcohol burner (so tea may be prepared in front of your guests), a tea cozy (a “jacket” which holds in the teapot’s heat) and a tea caddy (a box holding leaf tea). Veteran hostesses might even opt for a “tea tasting,” where several varieties of tea are served.

As for which foods to serve to accompany afternoon tea, the general rule of thumb is that they be light edibles. After that, you’re limited only by your imagination and the theme of your tea party. Crustless sandwiches, miniature muffins, shrimp or fish pates, and toasted breads with jams are all appropriate for tea time.

Traditional fare, such as cucumber sandwiches, can be made by marinating thinly sliced cucumbers in white vinegar and sugar for two hours, drying thoroughly and placing between two slices of bread lightly spread with mayonnaise or whipped cream cheese. Tea sandwiches can also be made from egg salad, tomatoes with ricotta cheese and basil, or ham with apricot jam and Dijon mustard. Just remember to trim off all the crusts and cut the sandwiches into smaller portions of varying shapes – triangles, “fingers” or even shapes from small cookie cutters.

You should also serve something sweet, whether it is something simple like small cookies, or more involved, such as miniature eclairs, tarts or petit fours. And what tea would be complete without those quintessential pastries, English crumpets and Scottish scones? Put an American twist on the traditional by adding ingredients like cheese or chocolate.

Afternoon tea can be held wherever your whimsy takes you. If you don’t have a time honored drawing room handy, and your living room seems oh-so-boring, why not hold your tea party outdoors? An afternoon tea in your garden or your patio on a beautiful spring day will set a delightful mood for your guests. If you’re so inclined, why not pack up the makings and invite your friends on a hike, serving them with a babbling brook as a backdrop? Or invite your friends to a quiet corner of your favorite park, spread out the blankets and enjoy each other’s company while quaffing your tea.

Tea parties are also a novel way to celebrate special occasions. You could, for example, invite your friends and their mothers (and yours as well!) to a Mother’s Day tea. Even a baby or bridal shower takes on a new twist when enjoyed within a tea party setting.

While afternoon tea is considered “low tea,” you can also host a “high tea,” the only difference being that high tea is held later in the afternoon (why not invite your friends to stop by after work?), and more substantial food is served. According to Miss Manners, “While some unscrupulous restaurants try to make afternoon tea sound more ‘high society’ by calling it high tea, the word ‘high’ is actually related to ‘It’s high time we had something to eat.'”

Whether high or low, a tea party is basically an informal, intimate gathering. So you can even dig out your anklets and Mary Janes, if the mood strikes you! Or just pour a cuppa, relax and enjoy.

Delve Deeper

Jarlsberg Mini Scones

• 2 cups sifted flour
• 2 T. sugar
• 1 T. baking powder
• 1/2 tea. Salt
• 1/4 cup cold butter
• 1/2 cup shredded Jarlsberg cheese
• 3 T. currants or dried cranberries
• 2 eggs
• 1/3 cup milk

In large bowl, sift together flour with sugar, baking powder and salt. Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add cheese and currants.

Beat eggs until light; add milk. Gradually stir in flour mixture.

Roll out on lightly floured board to 1/2″ thickness. Cut into 2″ squares. Cut each in half diagonally to form triangles. Brush each top with milk. Place on greased baking sheet. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes or until golden. Serve warm. Makes about 30 small scones.

Mini Cheese Corn Muffins

• 1 cup corn meal
• 1 cup unsifted flour
• 1/2 cup shredded Jarlsberg cheese
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 T. each minced green and red pepper
• 2 tea. baking powder
• 1-1/2 tea. salt
• 1 cup sour cream
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 cup melted butter

In bowl, combine first seven ingredients; blend well. Combine sour cream, eggs and butter. Add to dry ingredients and blend until evenly moistened. Spoon into generously greased mini muffin pans, filling almost to top.

Bake at 425° for 10-15 minutes, until golden. Cool on wire rack for five minutes. Remove from pans and serve warm with Chili Cheese Butter. Makes 36 muffins.

Chili Cheese Butter: Combine 1/2 cup softened butter with 1/2 cup grated Jarlsberg cheese, minced clove of garlic and 1/4 tea. chili powder. Chill until ready to serve. Makes about one cup.

Books

(Click image to buy or learn more)

Every party-thrower wants her shindig to be fun, exciting and unforgettable. Most partygoers – especially those who have been to gatherings so dull that guests left early, whispering weak excuses like needing to get home in time to shampoo the cat – will gladly settle for the first item on that list.

To stack the odds in your favor, set the stage for a great party by giving it a theme. While the list of possibilities is endless, here are a dozen ideas for a doozy of a party:

1. Sponsor an evening of games, everything from Scrabble to cards to the latest topper in the app store. Get your guests playing and encourage them to move from game to game, rewarding them with lots of inexpensive but fun (or funny) prizes.

2. Like Alice and her Wonderland gang, have an Unbirthday Party! Each guest’s birthday is celebrated, and everyone officially becomes a whole year younger! (You can even make fake documents to that effect.) Each guest brings a gift and a drawing can determine who gets what.

3. How about a Happy Everything Party, celebrating all the birthdays, anniversaries, holidays at once? This could make for some very interesting (read: crazy) decorations and menus. Fireworks and birthday cake, anyone? An Easter egg hunt and turkey dinner?

4. If your crowd has a favorite movie, rent it and create an evening around its theme, complete with plenty of popcorn.

5. The same idea works for a favorite television show. Whether it’s The Big Bang Theory or Game of Thrones, have several segments on your DVR to show and build the rest of the party on that foundation. Along those same lines, how about an evening of old radio shows, Prairie Home Companion segments, or whatever you and your guests delight in. (Download theme songs from all the old television shows for a perfect group contest.)

6. Other musical possibilities include an evening of karaoke, or even a dance party. Have your guests bring their most danceable playlists and encourage couple, solo, and group dancing so no one has to sit around and wait to be asked before they can cut a rug.

7. Ask the writers or journal-keepers amongst your friends to bring something to the party to read aloud, and invite the non-writers to bring a favorite poem, essay, or beloved bit from a book or magazine.

8. Sponsor a mixer where each guest brings someone the other guests don’t know and play some get-acquainted games. One silly ice-breaker is the “Ketchup Game,” where people place themselves in a line according to how much they like the red stuff, necessitating them asking virtual strangers profound questions like, “Do you put it on French fries? Meatloaf? Mashed potatoes?”

9. Go old-fashioned and have a “Come As You Are” party, meaning everyone arrives wearing whatever outfit they were sporting when they opened your invitation. Another idea right out of party history is the progressive dinner, perfect for friends who live in the same building or neighborhood. Each person is responsible for one course from appetizers to dessert and the party moves from location to location.

10. How about a something-for-everyone Zodiac party complete with an astrologer (or someone funny pretending to be an astrologer, which might be even more fun). As your guests arrive, hand them a scroll listing the characteristics and traits for their astrological signs (Virgo hostesses, of course, will write the scrolls calligraphically and wrap them in color-coordinated ribbons!)

11. Celebrate an obscure holiday or your own personal holiday, otherwise known as an old tradition you just made up. I used to celebrate St. Swithin’s Day (a real holiday) by hosting a pancake supper, and also used to have an Epiphany party every January 6 until it became a household word and everyone started epiffing all over the place. As for holidays you make up, how about National Parakeet Week?

12. Here’s a new spin on the old Rent Party where you raised cash to keep the landlord in wolf’s clothing away from the door. Throw a party to benefit a favorite event such as a suicide awareness walk or a run for finding a cure for breast cancer – the partygoers could actually sponsor one of the riders or runners. Another from-the-heart would be a group effort at making something for a nearby children’s hospital or a convalescent home. Make crazy hats out of ribbons, balloons and paper plates; make construction-paper scrapbooks filled with the fronts of old greeting cards; and “design” necklaces and bracelets from an inexpensive beading kit. These gifts are so appreciated and a lot of fun to make and deliver.

With the right theme, your guests will forget they even own a cat!

Delve Deeper

Secrets of Great Parties

How do you become the hostess with the mostest? The secret is to entertain your guests, which the dictionary describes thusly: To pass or cause to time to pass in an agreeable or pleasant manner; to amuse to divert, to recreate. Sounds good, doesn’t it? And possible too, if you just follow these simple guidelines:

Above all, invite an interesting mix of people. Inviting only your co-workers will generate an evening of shoptalk, but if you include everyone from your best friend from childhood to folks from your bird-watching group and recreational softball team, you’ll set the stage for a fascinating gathering.

Give your guests (a) something to do besides simply conversing; (b) somewhere to sit, other than chairs placed around the room in a circle (also know as “The Dead Zone”); (c) something easy but tasty to eat and drink; and (d) the chance to enjoy all of the above with you.

You, after all, are the life of the party. This doesn’t mean you have to be Camp Partytime’s social director for the entire evening, but is should mean that you enjoy the bash right along with your guests. Relax, have a good time, and don’t spend your evening racing from room to room making drinks, passing trays and cooking.

In order to throw the best possible bash and not become a crazed woman in the process, you’re going to need help long before you open the door to greet your first guest. If you need to clean and practically remodel your abode before the party, throw a pre-party for a couple of close friends, send out for pizza and before you know it, all of the work – including the dirty variety – will be complete. For the date of the soirée, a friend, relative or neighbor can be enlisted to help with refreshments and the jillion other little things that need doing during a party.

The type and amount of party food is yours to decide, but make it easy on yourself so you can have (and generate) that good time we’ve been talking about. Don’t make yourself crazy trying to prove you’re a blue ribbon chef and/or make yourself so tired you’ll be the lump of the party instead of its life.

Whichever way you go with the menus, warn your guests ahead of time what to expect food-wise. How many times have you shown up to a party famished, just to find that your host serving appetizers-only? Tell them a light buffet will be served, or it’s dinner at eight or whatever.

Lastly, by all means use colorful paper plates and other paper or plastic party products (the more eco-friendly, the better). This can transform clean up from a wheeze to a whiz.

Books

(Click image to buy or learn more)

But this time, instead of feeling hurt and victimized, Emme got mad as hell. She realized, “I wasn’t wrong…. The world…was wrong for not accepting me.” Her life-altering epiphany was that “I had to make a place for myself; I couldn’t sit around waiting for the rest of the world to let me in.”

Flash forward 15 years, and Emme’s new clothing line is proof positive that she’s still making a place for herself. Calling herself “the missing link” who falls between the cracks of the Missy and Plus departments, Emme says her motivation for creating her own line of clothes is “a very selfish thing. I found I didn’t have enough choice in the department stores. Instead of always trying to cover, cover, cover, I was looking for a great pant – not one that binds and gathers. I wanted to have a graceful duster.”

With a bit more nudging, though, it becomes clear that Emme’s motivation for designing her own line isn’t selfish at all. She is equally frustrated in finding clothes for her gig as the host of E! Entertainment’s Fashion Emergency! Revealing the tricks of the trade, she says, “You should see my back (when I’m) on TV. I have clamps. The clothes are cut. I have tape.” Her discomfort with projecting an image that didn’t reflect fashion reality for plus-size women collided with her realization that “If I have a hard time being at the lower end of the (size) spectrum, what are my larger sisters doing?”

When she began her quest to design her own clothing line, Emme envisioned the collection going from sizes 4 through 24, all carried in one department. “They looked at me like I had a third eye,” she says wryly. So, she thought, “Let me start in my own backyard,” and design a line in sizes 14-24. In a unique twist for the fashion industry, where plus-sizes are usually the Johnny-come-latelys, Emme expects to expand her line to include straight sizes within the next year and a half.

As this issue goes to press, Emme is plowing full steam ahead to adhere to the bizarre calendar of the fashion industry. She and her design team, led by Cynthia Pseng, have already nailed the trends for Fall 2001, and are discussing design concepts and fabric selection. Her Resort and Summer 2001 lines are in the design stage, and are set to have a 1940s feel. “Look for dots in very different patterns and arrangements,” she reveals, “and wrap-front tops and flounce skirts.” What else is in store for the future? “Cowgirl crocheted sweaters, double layers with fringe, geometric shapes, bell sleeves, wonderful necklines, and skirts at knee length or a smidgen above,” she says.

Emme has a clear vision of her endeavor. “The purpose of the line is not to be a trend setter,” she declares. Instead, her goal is to interpret the trends for plus-size women, and provide “An element of style that has a trend feel, but very sophisticated while at the same time being useful.”

Saying that “it’s not an issue of size, it’s an issue of style,” Emme stresses that her line is a wardrobe system designed for “every kind of woman who is on the go – a mother who wants to pick something up and run, or get together with girlfriends, or go on a special date with her husband.” With its emphasis on separates, Emme says that it’s important that the line have “a great pant that fits, so that you don’t always have to wear a long jacket…. A waist area that has shape to it, so that you feel good, and so your personality comes through.”

Emme’s personality is evident in all aspects of her clothing line, since as Creative Director, she’s contributing much more than simply her name. “You have to have the right partner to create wonderful things,” she says. And she feels that she’s found that partner in the manufacturer Ivy, a division of Kellwood Co. In addition to Emme’s line, Ivy manufactures for JCPenney and QVC, while Kellwood produces the Fern Bratten plus-size line, as well as Sag Harbor and Koret of California.

While Elisabeth, Liz Claiborne’s plus-size division, reportedly turned down collaboration, Ivy embraced Emme’s vision. “Once we signed the agreement with Ivy,” she says, “we were running at the speed of sound.” Instead of the restrictions usually imposed on the rigid retail industry, Emme says Ivy welcomes an approach that is outside of the box. The attitude is “let’s try it, let’s create,” she exclaims.

That’s been Emme’s motto since her revelation back at the NBC studios, but for years prior, she struggled with feeling as though she didn’t fit in. The übermodel we know as Emme was born “Melissa” to Sally Lamar Owens and Tom Miller. Her parents divorced when she was an infant, and she and her mom lived in New York on the Upper East Side until a new man walked into Sally’s life. When her stepfather Bill entered the picture, “I went from being the center of my mother’s universe to a self-conscious kid who was never good enough.”

When Emme was about eight, her family moved to Dhahran, Saudi Arabia, where Bill had landed a job as a junior high music instructor for the Aramco oil company. In True Beauty, which could be described as both an autobiography and self-help book, Emme describes the devastating effect that Bill’s feeling about his own weight had on her. “He couldn’t do anything about his own weight,” she writes, “so he set about controlling ours.”

There were weigh-ins, there were food control issues, and at one point, Bill even took a black marker to Emme’s adolescent body, drawing circles around “trouble spots” on her thighs, hips, arms and stomach. “My entire relationship with Bill, and eventually with my mother, came to be about food and weight. It defined me. It defined us.”

When Emme was 15 and preparing to go to boarding school in the States, she was hit with the devastating news that her mother had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Her family, which by now included brother Chip and sister Melanie, moved back to Houston, while Emme went to boarding school in Kent, Conn. When her mother died, Emme found solace in athletics. Rowing on her school’s crew team was “a critical watershed” in how she felt about herself. Not only did she discover that her size was an asset in her chosen sport, but “My success…left me feeling good about myself due to tangible achievements unrelated to how I was feeling about my body.”

Emme’s success ultimately led her to a full athletic scholarship at Syracuse University, where she majored in communications. After graduation and her yearlong stint as an NBC page, Emme moved on to Flagstaff, Ariz., where she was a general assignment reporter for KNAZ-TV. After two years of long hours and low pay, she decided a future in news broadcasting looked grim. Around that time, “A friend of a friend had just signed on with the prestigious Ford modeling agency in New York, in their large-size division.” Although dubious at first, Emme moved to New York, where she landed a job as a secretary at an investment firm. During her lunch hour one day, she went on a cold call to a small modeling agency. The rest, as they say, is history.

These days, Emme doesn’t have time to wait for history to catch up to her. She shares her multi-faceted life and New Jersey home with her husband and manager Phil Aronson. Emme has appropriated part of that home to begin rowing again. “I turned half my garage into a rowing boathouse, so I crank my music and row for at least a half hour,” she says. Calling rowing a “godsend” after spending sleepless nights stressed over her new clothing line, she maintains, “I have to get back down to basics again. If I row every day, I’m cooking. If I can’t for three days in a row, I miss it.”

Saying that “the concrete jungle is great, but…,” Emme finds rejuvenation in nature. She and Aronson vacation at both the ocean and the mountains, and cross-country ski in the winter and camp in the summer. Emme also spends time with her brother and sister, who live in the greater New York area. “We’re extremely close, and we have our own way of reaching out to one another,” she says with feeling.

While she’s cut down her traveling from 150 days a year to about one week a month, Emme revels in her role as the star of Fashion Emergency! “You get to meet all these different people,” she says, “and it’s so fun to share the resources of the show with them, to see their eyes light up.” From her perspective, “We all have personality pies, a full 360 degrees,” and Emme delights in encouraging people to think outside the box. “I love to say, ‘Hey, Mr. Banker, have you thought about leather lately?’ Or ‘Hey, Ms. Stay-at-Home Mom, have you thought about the latest duster style?'”

Although fashion is her passion, “Being in a democratic society, I take my citizenship very seriously, and use my voice when I can.” Most often, that voice is utilized for issues close to Emme’s heart. Because her biological father had multiple sclerosis and was confined to a wheelchair for over a decade prior to his death from a heart attack, and two other people in her life have MS, Emme is the celebrity spokesperson for the Multiple Sclerosis Society’s Bike-a-Thon. She’s also actively involved in eating disorders prevention efforts.

As for the future, Emme is looking to break into acting. To date, though, she reports that when she goes to auditions, “Either I’m not big enough or I’m too pretty to be the big girl.” With conviction in her voice, she says, “Until casting directors can see beyond the size issue, I’m not pining away. I’m keeping myself busy with areas that are suited to me right now.”

One suspects, though, that it won’t be long before Emme will be making a place for herself in the world of acting, and not waiting for the world to let her in.

Q & A with BBW

BBW: What’s the most fun, funky item in your closet right now, and when was the last time you wore it?
Emme: I’m wild about my full-length zebra coat with fuschia lining from my collection. I just wore it to my friend’s birthday party.

BBW: If you were chief of the fashion police, what would you outlaw?
Emme: I would outlaw girdles for now and forever!

BBW: If you had a magic wand and could change one thing in this world, what would it be?
Emme: I wish that every child would be given the opportunity to understand and develop his/her own unique abilities.

BBW: Which historical figure do you most admire?
Emme: I admire Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for his peaceful yet passionate approach during an adverse time in history.

BBW: Which living person would you most like the opportunity to meet?
Emme: (Secretary of State) Madeline Albright.

BBW: What legacy do you want to leave the world?
Emme: No matter what your size, weight or ethnicity, we are all beautiful!

BBW: What’s your most treasured childhood possession that you still have?
Emme: Pictures of my childhood years.

BBW: When was the last time you had a good belly laugh, and what caused you to laugh?
Emme: At a gabfest with my girlfriends over wine and good conversation.

BBW: Where to you want to be on December 31, 2000 at 11:59 PM?
Emme: In my honey’s arms.

This article was originally published in a 1999 issue of the print magazine.

Mo’Nique and her co-stars quickly clear the stage to prepare for their first scene while the audience watches and howls at yesterday’s pre-taped footage of a scene where Mo’Nique’s character, Nikki Parker, is preparing to attend her high school reunion. Meanwhile, crew members are bustling around, putting everything into place for the long evening ahead. The caterers are setting up food service trays for the cast’s dinner break. One of the prop mistresses surveys the two tiny black purses hanging on a rack between a red hat adorned with feathers and a gray shrug and declares, “This bag’s not big enough for Nikki,” and is off to find a substitute.

It’s not surprising that Nikki Parker would need a bigger bag, as she’s a character who defines the term “larger than life.” As does Mo’Nique, a stunningly beautiful woman with flashing eyes and a mischievous smile who freely admits that the personality of the character she portrays is very much like her own. “They just changed the name to Nikki Parker,” she says. “Because that’s Mo’Nique.”

Like her vibrant character, Mo’Nique exudes self-confidence. And when she relates the story of how she came to star in her own sitcom, it’s clear that Mo’Nique is a woman who, through sheer force of will, can make things happen.

A Star is Born

Mo’Nique’s journey to the spotlight began with a dare. Her brother, Steve, did a comedic turn at an open mic night at a comedy club in Baltimore. “He did so bad that he was booed,” Mo’Nique recalls with a laugh. “They turned the lights off and they turned the mic off. I teased him so bad that he dared me to do it.” The next week, it was Mo’Nique up there on stage, receiving a standing ovation.

When she was offered $25 to emcee a hair show the following week, Steve negotiated the price up to $30. “So, he became manager, I was client, and we were off on that big road to stardom,” Mo’Nique says, relishing the memory.

Although Mo’Nique had done plus-size runway modeling for Jessup Plus in Baltimore, she says comedy was the bigger payoff. “When I found out what I could make doing standup, I thought I’d just mix it all together – I’d wear my lovely fashions onstage while I was doing standup.”

While garnering accolades as a standup comic, one day Mo’Nique’s agent sat her down and told her that her career had reached its pinnacle in the Baltimore area, and that it was time to make a decision about going to Hollywood. “I went home and told my husband,” Mo’Nique recalls, “and he said, ‘What time do we have to leave?'”

The support of her husband, Mark, was crucial to Mo’Nique’s subsequent success. “I have a wonderful husband,” she says with a grin. “He’s a barber, and had been cutting hair for 15 years and had a huge clientele. But he said, whatever you need to do, I’ll do it.”

They left Baltimore on New Year’s Eve in 1997 with their two children, Mark Jr. and Shalon, now 13 and 9 respectively. Four days later, they hit the West Coast. “We stepped out on faith,” Mo’Nique confides. “It was just like whatever happens, happens.”

The family pooled all their nickels and dimes and went to a coin redemption machine at Food 4 Less. Mo’Nique says she was praying, “‘God, I just have to feed my babies.’ I don’t want to call home because everybody’s going to say, ‘She made a mistake.'” Their cash totaled $77, with which they bought “tuna fish, Oodles of Noodles and Kool-Aid. And I just said, ‘God, I know you’re going to make a way.'”

Within three months, Mo’Nique says, snapping her fingers, “everything just went boom-boom-boom.”

Initially, the comedian tried for a talk show deal, and had three possibilities in the works, two with Disney and one with Fox. Although she shot the pilot and the suits at the networks liked it, Queen Latifah came on the scene with her own talk show and the deal fell through.

But two weeks later, Mo’Nique was back out, pitching the talk show to Larry Little, president of Big Ticket Television. “I put the tape in, he sees it, and he says, ‘You’re a sitcom star, you’re not a talk show host. If you can act, you have your own show.” By 5:00 that evening, the deal for The Parkers was sealed, and within a month, Mo’Nique was shooting the pilot.

Brave New World

Just because Mo’Nique swept into television stardom, it doesn’t mean she’s bought into the Hollywood mentality. Indeed, the comedian become intense, even fierce, when talking about The Industry. “This is not my world,” Mo’Nique emphasizes. “This is my first job. I found that, in Hollywood, people are treated ‘less than.’ And I can’t deal with that. I don’t think, ‘I’m the star.’ And I don’t think, ‘You’re the janitor.’ You get on just like I do.”

Passionate about fairness, Mo’Nique explains that there is a hierarchy on a television show, and the stars get special treatment when it comes to things like the food service on the set. “Even (on The Parkers), there are signs that say ‘No extras,'” meaning that the food is for the regular cast only. “No!” she exclaims. “They’ve been on that set just like me, for ten hours. Damn it, if there’s a plate and a fork, go fix you something to eat!”

During an interview in her dressing room, Mo’Nique clearly enjoys the perks that her position brings, but her feet are planted firmly on the ground. “All of this will go away one day,” she says, gesturing to her surroundings. “I don’t like people saying, ‘Mo’Nique, are you okay?’ I’m fine,” she says with exuberance. “How are you doing?”

Indeed, Mo’Nique walks the talk, as evidenced during a recent taping of The Parkers. In the VIP section near the studio audience, a monitor sits atop a table, around which this writer has to peer in order to see a particular scene being shot. Mo’Nique has just flubbed her lines and is between takes. She glances over and mouths, “Can you see?” genuinely more concerned with this writer’s comfort than with her own worries. And just a few moments later, Mo’Nique is back “on,” playing with the studio audience, saying, “We’re going to do it again, and you’re gonna laugh, damn it, like you just heard it (for the first time).”

At first glance, her humility – in the truest sense of the word – is seemingly at odds with her rollicking personality. Yet in utmost seriousness, Mo’Nique says, “I tell people we (actors) should be lowest on the totem pole, because we do the least to make (the show) happen. I get to go in and say, ‘Hey, how you doin’? I’m Nikki Parker and I’m beautiful and fabulous” and I walk away. But you have writers who are here for 23 hours. You have sound people. You have so many other people that make The Parkers happen other than Mo’Nique, Countess and Dorien. But nobody knows that.”

Family Affair

Mo’Nique’s down-to-earth nature means that she’d much prefer spending her time off with her family than attending Hollywood functions. While she says, “I’m always willing to make the show grow, and I will go out and scream from the mountaintop, ‘Watch The Parkers,’ once I’ve done that, it’s goodnight and I’ll see y’all later.”

Her feelings about the glitterati come in part from her experience with nightlife as a standup comic. “Every party is the same party,” she proclaims. “I don’t care what party you go to, it’s the same party.” Instead, Mo’Nique would rather spend time with her family. Indeed, she says, “When I leave this world, I have a whole other world. And I don’t put the two together – at all. When I leave (the studio), the phone is cut off, the cell phone is cut off…. Whatever you need me for, it can wait until tomorrow morning.”

While Mo’Nique is currently the family ping-pong champ, she, Mark and their sons also bowl, and play football and basketball. She and Mark Jr. delight in skating and playing tennis. When the spotlights dim, she says, her family “will always be right there. So I have to really make sure I’m aware of my family time.”

Mo’Nique attributes her family values to her clinical psychologist father, Steve, and her mother Alice, who is retired from working at Westinghouse. “They’ve been married for 40 years and I adore them,” she exclaims. “My mom taught me how to be a woman and how to be a mommy. My father gave me all of my strength.”

Mo’Nique’s body image and her resulting self-confidence were also shaped by her father. The youngest of four children, Mo’Nique says, “My dad told me from the time I could understand words, ‘You’re the prettiest girl in the world.’ And even now, after 31 years, he still says, ‘You’re the prettiest girl in the world.'”

“I never went through that phase in my life where I felt like something was wrong with me,” Mo’Nique continues. “My father wouldn’t allow it.” As evidence of her comfort with her size, Mo’Nique proclaims, “When I walk into a room, I could walk in with Naomi, Tyra or Beverly Johnson and feel that ‘Y’all don’t have anything on this size 22!”

Large and In Charge

Mo’Nique doesn’t hesitate when she says, “It’s okay for you to say I’m fat. Yes, I am.” But, she adds, “I’ve never been looked at as a ‘fat girl.’ Named “Most Popular” and “Best Dressed” in high school, Mo’Nique’s advice to plus-size women is that “We need to put ourselves in the space where we can say, ‘Yes, I am gorgeous.’ And you have to have that attitude. Because once you have it, other people won’t know how to look at you any other way.”

Without a trace of arrogance, Mo’Nique declares, “I’m very sexy and I love being glamorous.” With a wicked gleam in her eye, she describes her beauty routine as consisting of “Lots of sex.” After a pause, she adds Neutrogena soap and cocoa butter and water to the list, but she’s made her point. Her fitness routine? “Lots of sex,” she says playfully, then adds that she takes Tae Bo classes from time to time and walks for fitness.

After years of traipsing through plus-size stores in search of a certain look, Mo’Nique says “I was still feeling like, ‘You know, you’re still giving us the fat girl clothes. There’s nothing here that’s sexy. I want to be sexy.'” To solve the problem, Mo’Nique began to design her own clothes. And now, she says, “God has blessed me and put me in a position where” she can share her designs with the rest of us. Mo’Nique says that her designs – which she characterizes as “what a size 5 would wear that a size 22 could wear and still be very tasteful” – will encompass careerwear, casual, eveningwear and lingerie. Her plans are to distribute a catalog in May 2000, as well as to sell her clothing via her website.

Mo’Nique’s passion about living fully as a plus-woman naturally spills over into her feelings about show business. Four years ago, when she did some commuting between Baltimore and Los Angeles, Mo’Nique recalls, “This one agent I had says to me, ‘You’ll never be the lead. You’ll always be the neighbor or the funny cousin.’ I said, ‘You know what? Watch me do my thing. Because it’s time. It’s time for a big girl to be the lead.'”

And this big girl is going for it. As for what the future may bring, Mo’Nique is philosophical. “Where God will have me, that’s where I’ll be. Yes, I would love to do big screen. Yes, I would love to do motivational speaking. I would love to publish lots and lots of books. I want to do it all, but I have no control over that. If God says, ‘You’re gonna be here,’ I’ll be right here, saying, ‘Hey, baby, how ya doing?'”

And that, as they say in the business, is a wrap.

Q&A with BBW

BBW: What’s the most fun, funky item in your closet right now, and when was the last time you wore it?
M: A sheer leopard teddy, which I wore last night.

BBW: If you were chief of the fashion police, what would you outlaw?
M: Plastic shoes!

BBW: If you had a magic wand and could change one thing in this world, what would it be?
M: To make it so everyone could have self-assurance.

BBW: Which historical figure do you most admire?
M: Madame C.J. Walker, the first African-American female millionaire.

BBW: Which living person would you most like the opportunity to meet?
M: Lena Horne

BBW: If you were to design one article of clothing that most truly reflected your personality, what would it look like?
M: A swing coat with a mini skirt or dress.

BBW: What’s your most treasured childhood possession that you still have?
M: A play I wrote when I was seven years old entitled “The Blue Hair.”

BBW: When was the last time you had a good belly laugh, and what caused you to laugh?
M: When I saw comedian J.B. Smooth

BBW: If you could go back in time, which comedic movie or television role would you have jumped at the chance to play?
M: Etta May in the movie Ghost (played by Whoopi Goldberg).

This article was originally published in a 2000 edition of the print magazine.