Perhaps it’s genetic. While my sister, Sue, does include pumpkin pie in the family holiday dinner menu, one of the things I adore about her is that she also concocts a to-die-for chocolate dessert. Recently, Sue and I reminisced about our mother, who once spent two days trying to create chocolate ravioli for her gourmet club’s Italian-themed dinner. The concept was sound: the “pasta” was white chocolate, softened and placed in a ravioli mold; the filling was chocolate mousse; and the sauce was dark chocolate. But the execution of this concept was another matter. While Mom eventually got enough “keepers” for the dinner, it took several pounds of white chocolate and repeated outbursts of “Jesus, Joseph and Mary” (our mother’s strongest epithet).

If you share my family’s passion for the fruit of the cacao tree, the holiday season presents abundant opportunities to indulge in a revelry of chocolate. Instead of having an eggnog-and-hors d’oeuvres party this year, tempt the palates of your friends with a chocolate tasting party. In her book, The New Taste of Chocolate, Maricel Presilla suggests that, when doing a taste test, you should select chocolates with similar cacao counts – in other words, don’t present both milk chocolate and dark chocolate. Buy chocolate from a variety of manufacturers, break each chunk into small pieces and use a eye-catching display to arrange each brand on its own plate. Provide each of your guests with a scorecard, so they can rate the color, aroma, taste and texture of the chocolate. Then compare notes and reveal the true identity of each chocolate. For added pizzazz in a group of true chocolate lovers, develop a chocolate trivia quiz, and give out prizes for the top scorers. (Q: Who was the first European to come in contact with cacao? A: Christopher Columbus.)

Another option for the holidays or any other time of year is a chocolate dessert party. Each guest brings a chocolate dessert, which is then divided up among the other guests, who then take home a veritable smorgasbord of chocolate. For true chocolate lovers, this is a very egalitarian party – there’s no need for everyone to spend hours in the kitchen trying to make the perfect chocolate soufflé. That’s because, in our eyes, a rich chewy brownie is just as delectable as the most delicate Sachertorte.

If you want to go one step further – or to non-chocoholics, one step overboard – you can create a whole dinner out of chocolate. With a pasta machine, chocolate noodles are a snap; create a light, fruity sauce and your guess will swoon. Use a hint of chocolate in sauces for beef, or go south of the border and whip up a mole sauce of chiles and chocolate for a Mexican feast. If eggnog is a must for your holiday gathering, melt semisweet chocolate into the milk before combining with the other ingredients. One piece of advice: pass on trying to make the chocolate ravioli!

Even if you won’t be hosting a holiday party this season, chances are you’ll be a guest at one. Chocolate can make for intriguing variations on the typical hostess gifts. Instead of sending flowers the day after the party, why not send a dozen strawberry roses from Shari’s Berries (www.berries.com)? Gourmet chocolate-dipped strawberries are their specialty, but they also offer other delightful hostess gifts.

Likewise, Pinterest offers a variety of gorgeous and intriguing “flower” arrangement ideas, including some made from Hershey’s Kisses and Ghirardelli chocolate bars.

Or instead of arriving with a bottle of wine in hand, why not bring a bottle of Godiva Liqueur (www.bevmo.com)? Over ice or over ice cream, the dark original liqueur or the white chocolate version will leave them screaming for more.

This holiday season, let’s put pumpkin pie in perspective, pass on the sugar cookies and dump the fruitcake. Instead, let’s deck the halls with bouquets of chocolate.

Delve Deeper
Chocolate Bits

• The cacao tree, from which chocolate is derived, grows near the equator
• White chocolate really isn’t, since it is made from cocoa butter, rather than cacao beans
• The difference between bittersweet, semisweet and milk chocolates is the ratio of cocoa solids, sugar and total fat content. Bittersweet has the highest proportion of cocoa solids (60% or more) while milk chocolate has about 36%
• Eating chocolate may make you feel good because it contains the neurotransmitter anandamide, which has a similar effect on the brain as the active ingredient in marijuana
• The scientific name for the cacao tree, Theobroma cacao, means “food-of-the-gods cacao”

Sources: www.exploratorium.edu; The Chocolate Bible, by Christian Teubner; The New Taste of Chocolate, by Maricel Presilla

Wine is meant to enhance our lives. It welcomes us to enjoy the moment, to relax, to take life a little easier. Wine allows us to…exhale. An ordinary afternoon tea becomes an event when a small glass of sherry is added. A romantic dinner at a fine restaurant turns extraordinary with a well-aged Merlot. What would a fondue party be without white wine for the pot and for the chef? And what would a celebration be without a Champagne toast?

Both the casual tippler and the wannabe connoisseur can benefit from wine education – not the snobby kind used to intimidate others, but the basics – how to order, buy and enjoy wine with confidence. The first lesson is to have fun and don’t fret – there is no absolute right or wrong when it comes to selecting wine! Your enjoyment of a wine is ultimately based on your own personal taste – even experts don’t agree on the “perfect” wine.

There are, of course, two basic wines – red and white. White wines are light, floral and fragrant. They tend to go best with chicken, fish, veal and vegetable pastas. The most well known white wines are Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc, Riesling, Sauvignon Blanc, Gewürztraminer and, of course, Champagne. Natural acids that form in a wine counteract its sweetness, adding a pleasant “tartness.” Words like “crisp,” “lively” or “tart” give a hint as to the acidity in a wine. A good basic guide for purchasing white wine is to ignore age or complexity and don’t necessarily seek out the most expensive bottle.

Reds are deeper and heavier than white wines, with wonderful flavors of berries and spice. Reds team well with beef, lamb, meaty pastas and pork…dishes with strong assertive flavors. The most well known reds are Cabernet Sauvignon, Chianti, Merlot, Beaujolais, Pinot Noir and Syrah. Price and age can be critically important in choosing a red wine because they tend to be puckery dry without enough aging to mellow their tannins (the natural compounds found in the grape skins). The expense in red wine comes from barrel aging, which mellows and smoothes a wine – a process that can take years.

Happily, most Merlots on the market are ready for immediate consumption, says Joe Lozano, owner of Elite Wine Sellers in Southern California. “People like the softness and the approachability of the wine, making the Merlot a very attractive red wine,” he says. “Surveys have shown that 97% of consumers who buy wine, buy it for consumption within a three-day period.”

When shopping for wine, be aware that wine varieties, like everything else, fluctuate in trendiness – some becoming hip and others becoming bore-ing (yawn). Right now, Merlot is hip and sexy, probably due to its flexibility. Gaining popularity are the Australian Rieslings with their distinctive tropical-lime flavors. “Blush” wines and any wines sold in a carton with a pour spout are definitely yesterday’s news!

With their wonderful honeyed flavors of apricots, oranges, roses and raisins, dessert wines pair well with cakes, puddings, and fruit desserts. While some wine drinkers find dessert wines too sweet, if paired appropriately, the opulent and perfumed Ports, Muscats and Sauternes can highlight the final course.

Pairing wine with food is simple if you remember that wines have individual flavors. Match the wine flavors to the food flavors, and voila! You have a match made in heaven. In addition to its flavor, you also want to take into account the body (or weight) of the wine, in order to be sure that neither the wine nor food overpower each other. For example, the mild spiciness of Gewürztraminer goes well with spicy food such as sausage. German Rieslings pair well with many foods because of their high acidity, low alcohol, and fragrant flavors. Remember to pair lower acidity wines with highly acidic dishes so that the flavors don’t clash on the palate.

Imagine you’ve planned a wonderful fall picnic for your friends. The leaves are turning color; the air is crisp, yet the sun is still warm. You’re serving smoked chicken pasta with caramelized onions and walnuts, and a homemade basil focaccia. For dessert you brought raspberry Amaretto custard tarts. What wine would best complement this feast?

“A barrel-aged Chardonnay would probably be best,” says Lozano. “The Chardonnay is rich and buttery and could stand up to the richness of the smoked chicken and caramelized onions. If the dish was richer, say, topped with butter and cheese, then you would want a wine with higher acidity to cut through the richness – like a Pinot Grigio or a Sauvignon Blanc.” To match the custard tarts, you might want to try an Italian sparkling wine, Asti Spumante. The effervescent sweetness of the Muscat grapes in the Asti pairs well with creamy desserts.

Like matching the right shoes and handbag to the outfit, accessorizing wine with its proper vessel is critical. There are at least 20 different shapes and sizes of glasses expertly designed to enhance the flavor of a fine wine. Choosing the correct glass will show off the wine’s color and bouquet. In general, red wine needs to be in a larger glass to allow plenty of room for oxygen to aerate the wine and bring out its full flavor. The edges of the glass should taper inward to catch the wine’s wonderful aromas. By contrast, champagne flutes are kept long and slender in an effort to preserve the tiny bubbles. White wines, where aeration is not as critical, are served in smaller versions of red wineglasses. Dessert wines, with their intense flavors and honeyed texture, are charming when served in small liqueur glasses.

Serving wine at the proper temperature is equally important. Warm white wines can taste like mouthwash and a too-cold red wine will taste boring and one-dimensional. Many experts recommend that wine should be served at “room temperature,” but what if your “room” is an igloo or an equatorial thatched hut? Generally, full-bodied red wines should be serve at 64 degrees, while Pinot Noirs and Burgundies should be served a bit cooler, at 61 degrees. Whites should be served between 43-52 degrees, with Bordeaux, Rieslings, and Champagne served at the lowest range.

Now, for the grand finale – dinner out at a fine restaurant! Let’s say you are taking your favorite niece out for her birthday and the wine-choosing and tasting duties fall to you. Don’t be afraid to let the sommelier (wine waiter) assist you, since his purpose is to help you enjoy your dining experience. Once you consult and choose a bottle in your price range, say a nice Merlot, the sommelier will uncork the bottle in front of you. You will be offered a small taste of the wine. Hold it up to the light and gently swirl it, checking the color and clarity. Do you see any sediment? If so, the wine might need to be decanted into a separate bottle before serving. Next, hold the glass close to your nose and inhale the bouquet. It should smell wonderful, like a wine cellar. Now, taste a small sip. It might be dry, but it shouldn’t taste like salad vinegar. If it makes your mouth pucker too much, it might just need to breathe awhile. Once you nod final approval, the sommelier will begin pouring wine for everyone at the table. Congratulations! You have now passed the time-honored restaurant tradition of selecting a wine.

Now you have concluded your lessons in “The Wine Basics” – how chic you are! If you continue to keep your eyes (and your mouth) open, you will become quite a wine connoisseur – or at least you’ll be so relaxed, you won’t really care! And remember that in the world of wine, like in the world of BBW, “Big” and “Full-bodied” are compliments!

Delve Deeper

Wine at a Glance

Over 500 natural compounds have been identified in wine. Many of these compounds are the same as those found in fruits, flowers and vegetables with flavors like pineapple, pear, coconut, peach, vanilla and green pepper. The combinations of compounds give varieties distinctive flavors and characteristics. This information will help you wend your way through the maze of wines.

White Wines:

Chardonnay: Full and buttery with a fruity taste. Flavor notes are vanilla, oak, butterscotch, melon, pineapple and peach.

Sauvignon Blanc: Fairly dry, higher in acids, and crisp. Flavor notes are grass and gooseberry.

Riesling: Lower alcohol level and fruity. Flavor notes are green apple, orange, lime and honey.

Gweurztraminer: Medium body with a spicy taste. Flavor notes are spice with nutmeg.

Chenin Blanc: A picnic wine, crisp with high acidity. Flavor notes are peach, apple, honey, and marzipan.

Sauterne: A rich dessert wine – a taste of honey with a luscious crème brulee texture. Flavor notes are apricot, peach, and pineapple.

Red Wines:

Merlot: Dark red and full-bodied, but soft and less tannic. Flavor notes are plum, rose, and spice, with some lighter grassy undertones.

Cabernet Sauvignon: Dark red, big, and full-bodied. Flavor notes are black currant, chocolate, tobacco, and olive.

Pinot Noir: Relatively low tannins and acid. Flavor notes are raspberry, cherry, violet, and rose.

Sangiovese: Medium body Chianti-like wine. Flavor notes are cherry, spice, tobacco, and herbs.

Syrah: Lighter, more peppery wine. Flavor notes are ripe berry, mixed spice, and black currant.

Fortunately, this pleasant practice is at last catching on in America, and we’ve finally discovered the joys of outdoor dining without its labor-intensive companion, the barbecue. We’ve found out it’s fun and refreshing to just have a bite or a meal in the sun-or-star shine. And that we needn’t travel to France – or to a restaurant – to enjoy the experience. Whether it’s morning coffee and croissants on the patio, lunch around the pool or a candlelight dinner on a card table set up in the driveway, most of us have the means to enjoy open-air dining.

The main objective of al fresco is pleasure for everyone concerned and that includes the “chef.” For this reason, the menu needs to be a simple and easily moveable feast. A one-dish meal is the best possible choice, keeping one from running in and out of the house a zillion times. Pretty paper tablecloths and plates are a good choice as well, making cleanup as breezy as your surroundings. So don’t fuss unless there’s a super-special reason.

Breakfast (or brunch) is one of the best times to dine out of doors. Most of the bugs are still asleep, the air is the cleanest it will be all day, and it’s just such an invigorating time to be out in the ether. Also, traditional morning dishes with ingredients like egg and cheese are perfect because they hold well and don’t have to be served piping hot.

Every cook has a recipe for an egg dish you make the night before, but you’ll find two more on these pages, one perfect for breakfast and the other made to order for brunch or lunch.

With all the bad rap eggs have gotten the past few years, these two yummy recipes from the American Egg Board take care to make up for the richness of their product by keeping the other ingredients low in fat.

Benedict Strata

• 1 package (12 ounces) English muffins
• 6 slices (4 oz) Canadian bacon, chopped
• 6 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups low-fat milk
• 3 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 3 teaspoons grated lemon peel
• Chives and lemon slices for decoration

Split muffins and cut into cubes. Alternate even layers of muffin cubes and bacon in lightly greased 8″x8″x2″ baking dish. Blend together other ingredients and pour evenly over muffin-bacon mixture. Cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight. Then uncover and bake in a preheated 350 degree oven until golden brown and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean, about 50 to 60 minutes. Garnish with chives and lemon slices if desired.

Veggie Strata

• 6 slices day-old bread
• 1 to 2 cups chopped cooked vegetables
• 1/2 cup shredded low-fat Cheddar cheese
• 6 eggs
• 1 can low-fat reduced-sodium condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
• 1/2 cup non- or low-fat milk
• 1 teaspoon prepared mustard
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed basil leaves
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper or to taste

Evenly coat an 8″x8″x2″ (or 2-quart rectangular) baking dish with cooking spray. Cut bread into 1/2″ cubes and place half in baking dish. Evenly sprinkle veggies and cheese over cubes. Sprinkle with remaining cubes. Beat together eggs, soup, milk and seasonings. Pour over bread-vegetable mixture, cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven until knife inserted near center comes out clean and top is golden brown, about 50 to 60 minutes.

For a simpler but mighty zippy egg bake, try this wake up call for the taste buds. Sprinkle 2/3 cup chopped green onion and 1/2 cup seeded and minced jalapeño peppers in an oiled 9″ pie plate. Cover with 1 cup Jarlsberg cheese. Top with 6 beaten eggs (or equivalent egg substitute). Bake at 350( for about 30 minutes or until set. Cool ten minutes, cut into wedges to serve. Keep the number of the fire department handy!

Perfect accompaniments for any of these eggy treats would be crusty bread to tear-not-slice, a pot or thermos of coffee and a bowl of fruit.

If you’re short on time or just want to spend most of it out in the zephyrs, boil eggs to almost-hard, and serve them warm with a basket of muffins, coffee and the best oranges you can buy.

For outdoor lunches or dinners, stick to the same one-dish premise – salads, pasta and the like, with additions such as seafood or chicken. If you have children or if you’re just in the mood, a pot of Sloppy Joes and a huge bowl of buns make for a great do-it-yourself outdoor meal.

For an afternoon treat, brew a pot of your favorite tea and fill those handy little phyllo pastry shells with something delicious be it sweet or savory One great way to serve phyllo is to fill them with a mixture of goat cheese and yogurt.

Please don’t go “argh!” if you find the above too pungent or if you simply have fear of goat cheese because it’s too trendy or sounds yucky. Instead, take a walk on the mild side with a version called Snøfrisk (or “snow fresh” in Norwegian). Available in the deli section, this mixture is 80% alpine and 20% bovine and there’s just enough cows’ cream in it to deliciously smooth out the edges. In fact, it’s so good it should be illegal!

Just melt Snøfrisk with your favorite flavored yogurt, or mix it with plain yogurt and add brown sugar to taste. Top with fresh berries and you have a treat that’s perfect for enjoying al fresco and pretty enough to please Mother Nature. If you can’t find phyllo shells in your market’s freezer, call the Fillo Factory 1-800-OKFILLO for information on availability in your area.

For another afternoon delight, work the following into 8 ounces of low-fat cottage cheese: 1/2 cup minced fresh cilantro or parsley, 1/2 cup bottled salsa (temperature of choice), 1 teaspoon celery seed, 1/4 cup dill pickle relish. When well mixed and mashed, add 1 cup grated Jarlsberg cheese. If you’re into making it beautiful, stuff the final product into a head of cabbage or lettuce that’s has been cleaned, trimmed and hollowed out. Serve with crusty bread, assorted crackers and/or crudités for dipping.

Al fresco is also the perfect place for culinary efforts on the messy side. For instance, it’s a great place to make caramel apples. Just provide a bowl of apples, the necessary sticks and your own favorite coating in a chafing dish or fondue pot (they’re both making a comeback so it’s time to dig them out of that closet in the middle bedroom). Kids will need supervision and help with this project, of course, but it’s also a lot of fun for adults-only.

Also making a comeback are S’mores, a toasted marshmallow and a chocolate square in between two graham crackers. They’re even featuring this original Girl Scout camping treat in restaurants, some of which bring a little brazier of hot coals to your table for toasting your own marshmallows. But you can provide each person with an individual votive candle along with all the ingredients. The toasting takes longer but is safer, and if night has fallen, a twinkly treat for the eye is a bonus.

So here’s to dining out of doors, in the fragrance of the day or evening. It’s a boost to the senses and the spirit to break bread in our natural habitat. If we haven’t made it simple enough for you, try this: A blanket, a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and please pass the thou.

Delver Deeper

Books

(Click on the photo to buy or learn more)

While we usually consider dessert to be a course served at the end of a meal, some folks live by the credo, “Life’s too short, so eat dessert first!” If that’s your motto, why not host a dessert party? You can make your own selection of goodies or ask each person to bring a sweet and a sweetie. A dessert party works great in the evening, but is also perfect for an afternoon tea-something so fashionable these days, we may be breaking out the white gloves again soon.

Should you opt for a goodie-gathering, make sure to also serve a savory or two. Pretty sandwiches, stuffed mushrooms, pastry cups filled with ham salad or any savory mixture, bowls of olives and almonds (bowls of each, of course!), or like the Scandinavians, toppling piles of roughly cut homemade brown bread, buttered and topped with sliced cheese. If you’re taken by the idea of dessert-only dining, an alternative is to follow dessert with a lightly dressed salad, after the Continental fashion. It levels out the sugar rush and tastes very refreshing.

Lest you still consider dessert to be an afterthought following a meal, keep in mind that you can also create a treat eye-pleasing enough to earn its own place at the table – as a centerpiece. A beautifully arranged bowl of fruit qualifies, as can a fetching cheese plate under a dome, especially if you include edible flowers. Or consider a towering croquembouche – tasty globes held together by drizzled strands of melted sugar. It can be purchased, but it’s simpler to make that you might think.

Another crowd-pleaser that can do double duty as decoration is Pavlova Magic. This Australian treat is sold in an egg-shaped container in many stores and also in numerous food catalogs. The package contains the ingredients for a large meringue and custard to put in the center. Just add fruit and you’ve come up with a winner from Down Under!

Desserts can also become gifts. If you have a special cake or brownie or cookie you make, layer the dry components into a pretty glass container and paste on a label that lists the recipe and the rest of the ingredients. Voilà-an inexpensive but very personal present.

For a pretty and pretty simple fruit dessert, grill pineapple wedges (keep the leaves on!) on a slightly oiled rack until just charred and serve with ice cream. For a variation on the Italian custom of serving strawberries with balsamic vinegar and freshly cracked pepper, try this idea: Simmer one cup strawberry syrup with 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar until reduced to about one cup of liquid. Pour over dishes of halved fresh strawberries and top with a dollop of sour cream and a drift of cracked pepper. Belissima!

But how could we speak of dessert without mentioning one of nature’s most perfect foods? For chocoholics, a dessert just isn’t unless one of the ingredients comes from those delectable cacao beans. From parfaits to mousses, from truffles to candy bars, from cheesecakes to brownies, chocolate can find a place in virtually any dessert. If you’re a chocolate lover and have a group of like-minded friends, a dessert party becomes all the more enthralling, with guests not only sharing their favorite treats, but also rhapsodizing about the wonders of the best chocolate desserts they’ve ever eaten.

Whatever your druthers – cheese, chocolate or something in between – dessert is a multi-functional treat. Share it, give it as a gift, use it as part of your table setting, but most of all – eat it and enjoy!

Delver Deeper

Crème de la Crème
A toothsome concoction known as Crème Brûlée – a silky custard topped with a burnt sugar crust – is a dessert that looks harder to make than it really is. There’s a recipe for this popular item in just about every cookbook, but if you’re serious about the subject, buy, beg or borrow a yummy little book called Elegantly Easy Créme Brûlée & Other Custard Desserts by Debbie Puente (Renaissance Books, 1998, $15.99). It has every possible recipe from classic to Caribbean (which tastes like a Piña Colada) to Eggless Créme Caramel. Other offerings include roasted red pepper and chocolate espresso brûlées and sugarless maple custard. It also provides all the techniques for preparation and caramelizing, which is either done via broiler or kitchen blowtorch. An added bonus is the final chapter, which gives tips on how to make sweet somethings like chocolate boxes and botanical ice bowls, which will add pizzazz to your dessert presentation.

Books

(Click on image to buy or for more information)

If you were wearing anklet socks and Mary Janes the last time you poured at a tea party, you may be surprised to know that tea time has become the latest trend in entertaining. No longer relegated to little girls and their dollies, tea parties are a wonderful excuse to gather friends together in an informal yet imaginative setting.

The mannerly rituals associated with pouring tea, combined with the delicious tidbits served with the brew and great conversation, make for a delightful afternoon gathering. In this workaday world, traditional afternoon teas – usually held at four o’clock – are probably best reserved for the weekends, when you have time to prepare and your friends have time to relax.

Your afternoon tea can be as simple or as elegant as you would like. If you’re not inclined to fuss, the minimum requirements are a teapot, a tea ball, cups and saucers, teaspoons, lump sugar, milk, lemon, snacks, boiling water and – of course – tea.

While the Camellia sinesis plant yields over 3,000 varieties of tea, there are basically three types: green tea, which consists of steaming fresh leaves before heat-drying; black tea, which is produced by allowing leaves to ferment before firing; and oolong tea, which is partially oxidized, and has a color and tasted somewhere between green and black teas. It should be noted that herbal teas – while tasty and soothing – do not contain any real tea leaves.

For the novice, a good choice for an afternoon tea is a blend of black teas, such as English Breakfast or Earl Grey. Tea bags are verboten at an afternoon tea, so be sure to buy it in loose-leaf form.

In order to brew a perfect cup of tea, start with good water. If the taste of your tap water is reminiscent of a well-used swimming pool, use the bottled variety. In order to pre-warm the pot, which will keep your tea hotter longer, fill your teapot with hot water and let it sit. Then, pour fresh cold water into your teakettle. If you’re using tap water, let the water run a few moments before filling the kettle so that it becomes full of oxygen, which will bring out the full flavor of the tea. Bring the water to a rolling boil, but don’t let the boiling water sit on the stove too long, or it will lose its oxygen, resulting in flat-tasting tea.

Measure the tea (one teaspoon per person) into the tea ball (a small perforated metal ball), making sure that it’s loose enough so that the water can infuse it properly. Empty the hot water out of the teapot, place the tea ball inside, and immediately pour the boiling water over it. Let it brew for three to five minutes, then remove the tea ball. Voila! You have the perfect pot of tea.

The pot of tea should be placed upon a tray, along with a kettle of hot water, bowl of lump sugar and tongs, plate of lemon slices, and pitcher of milk and carried into the room where your guests are gathered. You may then ask a good friend, “Would you do the honor of pouring?” According to Judith Martin’s (a.k.a. Miss Manners) Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, “Being asked to pour is an honor just short of knighthood.”

Guests come up to the person pouring, who asks, “How would you like your tea?” If the answer is “strong,” a cup is poured from the teapot. If the answer is “weak,” the tea is diluted in the cup with hot water from the kettle. The guest should then be asked if she would like sugar (yes, the pourer can say, “One lump or two?”), milk or lemon, with these items added accordingly.

If you’d like to add some elegance to your tea party, you can incorporate items such as a copper kettle over an alcohol burner (so tea may be prepared in front of your guests), a tea cozy (a “jacket” which holds in the teapot’s heat) and a tea caddy (a box holding leaf tea). Veteran hostesses might even opt for a “tea tasting,” where several varieties of tea are served.

As for which foods to serve to accompany afternoon tea, the general rule of thumb is that they be light edibles. After that, you’re limited only by your imagination and the theme of your tea party. Crustless sandwiches, miniature muffins, shrimp or fish pates, and toasted breads with jams are all appropriate for tea time.

Traditional fare, such as cucumber sandwiches, can be made by marinating thinly sliced cucumbers in white vinegar and sugar for two hours, drying thoroughly and placing between two slices of bread lightly spread with mayonnaise or whipped cream cheese. Tea sandwiches can also be made from egg salad, tomatoes with ricotta cheese and basil, or ham with apricot jam and Dijon mustard. Just remember to trim off all the crusts and cut the sandwiches into smaller portions of varying shapes – triangles, “fingers” or even shapes from small cookie cutters.

You should also serve something sweet, whether it is something simple like small cookies, or more involved, such as miniature eclairs, tarts or petit fours. And what tea would be complete without those quintessential pastries, English crumpets and Scottish scones? Put an American twist on the traditional by adding ingredients like cheese or chocolate.

Afternoon tea can be held wherever your whimsy takes you. If you don’t have a time honored drawing room handy, and your living room seems oh-so-boring, why not hold your tea party outdoors? An afternoon tea in your garden or your patio on a beautiful spring day will set a delightful mood for your guests. If you’re so inclined, why not pack up the makings and invite your friends on a hike, serving them with a babbling brook as a backdrop? Or invite your friends to a quiet corner of your favorite park, spread out the blankets and enjoy each other’s company while quaffing your tea.

Tea parties are also a novel way to celebrate special occasions. You could, for example, invite your friends and their mothers (and yours as well!) to a Mother’s Day tea. Even a baby or bridal shower takes on a new twist when enjoyed within a tea party setting.

While afternoon tea is considered “low tea,” you can also host a “high tea,” the only difference being that high tea is held later in the afternoon (why not invite your friends to stop by after work?), and more substantial food is served. According to Miss Manners, “While some unscrupulous restaurants try to make afternoon tea sound more ‘high society’ by calling it high tea, the word ‘high’ is actually related to ‘It’s high time we had something to eat.'”

Whether high or low, a tea party is basically an informal, intimate gathering. So you can even dig out your anklets and Mary Janes, if the mood strikes you! Or just pour a cuppa, relax and enjoy.

Delve Deeper

Jarlsberg Mini Scones

• 2 cups sifted flour
• 2 T. sugar
• 1 T. baking powder
• 1/2 tea. Salt
• 1/4 cup cold butter
• 1/2 cup shredded Jarlsberg cheese
• 3 T. currants or dried cranberries
• 2 eggs
• 1/3 cup milk

In large bowl, sift together flour with sugar, baking powder and salt. Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add cheese and currants.

Beat eggs until light; add milk. Gradually stir in flour mixture.

Roll out on lightly floured board to 1/2″ thickness. Cut into 2″ squares. Cut each in half diagonally to form triangles. Brush each top with milk. Place on greased baking sheet. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes or until golden. Serve warm. Makes about 30 small scones.

Mini Cheese Corn Muffins

• 1 cup corn meal
• 1 cup unsifted flour
• 1/2 cup shredded Jarlsberg cheese
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 T. each minced green and red pepper
• 2 tea. baking powder
• 1-1/2 tea. salt
• 1 cup sour cream
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 cup melted butter

In bowl, combine first seven ingredients; blend well. Combine sour cream, eggs and butter. Add to dry ingredients and blend until evenly moistened. Spoon into generously greased mini muffin pans, filling almost to top.

Bake at 425° for 10-15 minutes, until golden. Cool on wire rack for five minutes. Remove from pans and serve warm with Chili Cheese Butter. Makes 36 muffins.

Chili Cheese Butter: Combine 1/2 cup softened butter with 1/2 cup grated Jarlsberg cheese, minced clove of garlic and 1/4 tea. chili powder. Chill until ready to serve. Makes about one cup.

Books

(Click image to buy or learn more)

Every party-thrower wants her shindig to be fun, exciting and unforgettable. Most partygoers – especially those who have been to gatherings so dull that guests left early, whispering weak excuses like needing to get home in time to shampoo the cat – will gladly settle for the first item on that list.

To stack the odds in your favor, set the stage for a great party by giving it a theme. While the list of possibilities is endless, here are a dozen ideas for a doozy of a party:

1. Sponsor an evening of games, everything from Scrabble to cards to the latest topper in the app store. Get your guests playing and encourage them to move from game to game, rewarding them with lots of inexpensive but fun (or funny) prizes.

2. Like Alice and her Wonderland gang, have an Unbirthday Party! Each guest’s birthday is celebrated, and everyone officially becomes a whole year younger! (You can even make fake documents to that effect.) Each guest brings a gift and a drawing can determine who gets what.

3. How about a Happy Everything Party, celebrating all the birthdays, anniversaries, holidays at once? This could make for some very interesting (read: crazy) decorations and menus. Fireworks and birthday cake, anyone? An Easter egg hunt and turkey dinner?

4. If your crowd has a favorite movie, rent it and create an evening around its theme, complete with plenty of popcorn.

5. The same idea works for a favorite television show. Whether it’s The Big Bang Theory or Game of Thrones, have several segments on your DVR to show and build the rest of the party on that foundation. Along those same lines, how about an evening of old radio shows, Prairie Home Companion segments, or whatever you and your guests delight in. (Download theme songs from all the old television shows for a perfect group contest.)

6. Other musical possibilities include an evening of karaoke, or even a dance party. Have your guests bring their most danceable playlists and encourage couple, solo, and group dancing so no one has to sit around and wait to be asked before they can cut a rug.

7. Ask the writers or journal-keepers amongst your friends to bring something to the party to read aloud, and invite the non-writers to bring a favorite poem, essay, or beloved bit from a book or magazine.

8. Sponsor a mixer where each guest brings someone the other guests don’t know and play some get-acquainted games. One silly ice-breaker is the “Ketchup Game,” where people place themselves in a line according to how much they like the red stuff, necessitating them asking virtual strangers profound questions like, “Do you put it on French fries? Meatloaf? Mashed potatoes?”

9. Go old-fashioned and have a “Come As You Are” party, meaning everyone arrives wearing whatever outfit they were sporting when they opened your invitation. Another idea right out of party history is the progressive dinner, perfect for friends who live in the same building or neighborhood. Each person is responsible for one course from appetizers to dessert and the party moves from location to location.

10. How about a something-for-everyone Zodiac party complete with an astrologer (or someone funny pretending to be an astrologer, which might be even more fun). As your guests arrive, hand them a scroll listing the characteristics and traits for their astrological signs (Virgo hostesses, of course, will write the scrolls calligraphically and wrap them in color-coordinated ribbons!)

11. Celebrate an obscure holiday or your own personal holiday, otherwise known as an old tradition you just made up. I used to celebrate St. Swithin’s Day (a real holiday) by hosting a pancake supper, and also used to have an Epiphany party every January 6 until it became a household word and everyone started epiffing all over the place. As for holidays you make up, how about National Parakeet Week?

12. Here’s a new spin on the old Rent Party where you raised cash to keep the landlord in wolf’s clothing away from the door. Throw a party to benefit a favorite event such as a suicide awareness walk or a run for finding a cure for breast cancer – the partygoers could actually sponsor one of the riders or runners. Another from-the-heart would be a group effort at making something for a nearby children’s hospital or a convalescent home. Make crazy hats out of ribbons, balloons and paper plates; make construction-paper scrapbooks filled with the fronts of old greeting cards; and “design” necklaces and bracelets from an inexpensive beading kit. These gifts are so appreciated and a lot of fun to make and deliver.

With the right theme, your guests will forget they even own a cat!

Delve Deeper

Secrets of Great Parties

How do you become the hostess with the mostest? The secret is to entertain your guests, which the dictionary describes thusly: To pass or cause to time to pass in an agreeable or pleasant manner; to amuse to divert, to recreate. Sounds good, doesn’t it? And possible too, if you just follow these simple guidelines:

Above all, invite an interesting mix of people. Inviting only your co-workers will generate an evening of shoptalk, but if you include everyone from your best friend from childhood to folks from your bird-watching group and recreational softball team, you’ll set the stage for a fascinating gathering.

Give your guests (a) something to do besides simply conversing; (b) somewhere to sit, other than chairs placed around the room in a circle (also know as “The Dead Zone”); (c) something easy but tasty to eat and drink; and (d) the chance to enjoy all of the above with you.

You, after all, are the life of the party. This doesn’t mean you have to be Camp Partytime’s social director for the entire evening, but is should mean that you enjoy the bash right along with your guests. Relax, have a good time, and don’t spend your evening racing from room to room making drinks, passing trays and cooking.

In order to throw the best possible bash and not become a crazed woman in the process, you’re going to need help long before you open the door to greet your first guest. If you need to clean and practically remodel your abode before the party, throw a pre-party for a couple of close friends, send out for pizza and before you know it, all of the work – including the dirty variety – will be complete. For the date of the soirée, a friend, relative or neighbor can be enlisted to help with refreshments and the jillion other little things that need doing during a party.

The type and amount of party food is yours to decide, but make it easy on yourself so you can have (and generate) that good time we’ve been talking about. Don’t make yourself crazy trying to prove you’re a blue ribbon chef and/or make yourself so tired you’ll be the lump of the party instead of its life.

Whichever way you go with the menus, warn your guests ahead of time what to expect food-wise. How many times have you shown up to a party famished, just to find that your host serving appetizers-only? Tell them a light buffet will be served, or it’s dinner at eight or whatever.

Lastly, by all means use colorful paper plates and other paper or plastic party products (the more eco-friendly, the better). This can transform clean up from a wheeze to a whiz.

Books

(Click image to buy or learn more)