1. Find a plastic freezer bag. In fact, think thrifty – recycle a used freezer bag. Drop in all credit cards. Fill with water. Bury in the back of your freezer until after the holidays.

2. Call, write, email, or get together with each person on your gift list over the age of 21, and specifically to talk about gifts. Do they mostly agree with you that holiday presents are for kids? If so, would they like to join you in working toward a financially responsible, simpler lifestyle by forgoing an adult gift exchange?

3. If so, suggest that each of you set aside half the money you would normally have spent on each other to buy a gift for a needy child and/or make a donation to a charity you both like. It’s guaranteed to give you a good feeling, and you’ll avoid having to conjure up a false enthusiasm for the extraordinarily useless thing that person would have chosen for you.

4. Take a reality check. The family down the street can afford to go to Vail to ski over the holidays. You can’t. Have a family meeting or round robin email or letter. Ask each person what would be the ideal gift they would like to receive from you. The most frequent answers usually cost almost nothing – a new photo of you, some time together, a guaranteed phone call or letter every other week – and mean so much more to the recipient than the knick-knack you buy.

5. Take reality check #2. OK, the children thought a little differently. They want the most expensive gaming console or motorized scooter or this year’s fully outfitted Barbie. Show them the price of that gift, explain how much you could contribute to acquiring that and let them help think of solutions to collect the rest of the money. Maybe one less treat a week? One less fast food dinner a week? Of course, be sure to set aside one affordable gift for Santa to bring, but some of the greatest lifetime gifts you’ll be giving your children are 1) a sense of reality about money; 2) the understanding that their opinion counts; 3) the knowledge that they are part of a family team that needs to operate together for the good of all, not just the gratification of one; and 4) a strong grasp of the lesson that to choose wisely leads to control of their own life.

6. Create your own Holiday Club fund. Such accounts used to be a big deal years ago at most banks. Unfortunately the clubs paid little or no interest – they just acted as a nagging reminder to start putting away money all year toward holiday gift giving. You can do the same thing on your own, but shop around and find out how to get the best interest accruing while the fund grows. Rigorously contribute to the account with a set amount out of every paycheck.

7. Create a little extra cash over the year by regularly putting the price of one day’s lunch or one week’s lattes or one fewer pair of shoes into that holiday money fund you’re building. If giving a gift to someone is truly meaningful to you, the sense of not indulging yourself in order to give to him or her will become a heartwarming, fulfilling choice.

8. Design the budget of your dreams for holiday spending. Now cut that in half, at least. Does your next door neighbor really need one more knickknack for her already overcrowded home? Instead of a gift, maybe your co-worker would prefer that you cover her job or work overtime the next time she wants to leave early for her child’s school play.

9. Now, stick to your budget. Rigorously. Remember your credit cards are buried in layers of ice. If you can’t afford the gift you’re coveting with the cash in your wallet or checking account – without sacrificing normal daily needs – the gift gets to stay on the shelf for someone else to ponder. Remember that money does not equal love.

10. Have little ones around? Be the first on your block or in your school or church to organize a trade-a-toy event for adults only. A toddler will never know the shiny toy you cleaned and polished once belonged to the little boy down the street who’s tired of it. Ditto for those clothes quickly outgrown, or the computer game software not played in the last year.

11. Shop wisely to make sure the deal you’re getting is the very best available, whether online or in a retail outlet. Especially make use of online comparison pricing that will indicate the cost of a certain Barbie doll, for example, at a number of different sources. Always be on the lookout for bargains; in today’s economy, some really elegant clothes and toys are donated to thrift shops and can be had for a quarter or less of what they cost brand new.

12. Shop late. Until my son was in grade school, we simply celebrated Christmas gift giving time a few days after Christmas. I bought almost all his gifts at rock bottom post-holiday sales. Over the years he realized he got a lot more of what he wanted this way instead of celebrating the same day as his friends did – and we continue the tradition. Does your family absolutely require getting together on Christmas Day? You could save a bundle on gifts and airline tickets, for example, if you traveled and celebrated off-peak.

13. Does your glitzy holiday card really brighten up someone’s life? If you want to send something bright and cheery, cut the front off a card you received last year, and tuck it into an envelope with a note that lists ten things you like about that person. The enjoyment of a lovely but mass-manufactured card is limited. The heartglow from a list like this is boundless.

14. Subscribe to any one of many excellent couponing newsletters and websites and put a portion of your additional savings over the next year into your holiday club account.

15. Keep your credit cards in the freezer until the next genuine emergency. Playing financial catch up is always expensive. Credit card companies have craftily designed their fees, extra charges, and interest rates to keep you in financial bondage forever. Break free. Be conscious. Be conscientious. Always save ahead instead of paying behind.

Perhaps it’s genetic. While my sister, Sue, does include pumpkin pie in the family holiday dinner menu, one of the things I adore about her is that she also concocts a to-die-for chocolate dessert. Recently, Sue and I reminisced about our mother, who once spent two days trying to create chocolate ravioli for her gourmet club’s Italian-themed dinner. The concept was sound: the “pasta” was white chocolate, softened and placed in a ravioli mold; the filling was chocolate mousse; and the sauce was dark chocolate. But the execution of this concept was another matter. While Mom eventually got enough “keepers” for the dinner, it took several pounds of white chocolate and repeated outbursts of “Jesus, Joseph and Mary” (our mother’s strongest epithet).

If you share my family’s passion for the fruit of the cacao tree, the holiday season presents abundant opportunities to indulge in a revelry of chocolate. Instead of having an eggnog-and-hors d’oeuvres party this year, tempt the palates of your friends with a chocolate tasting party. In her book, The New Taste of Chocolate, Maricel Presilla suggests that, when doing a taste test, you should select chocolates with similar cacao counts – in other words, don’t present both milk chocolate and dark chocolate. Buy chocolate from a variety of manufacturers, break each chunk into small pieces and use a eye-catching display to arrange each brand on its own plate. Provide each of your guests with a scorecard, so they can rate the color, aroma, taste and texture of the chocolate. Then compare notes and reveal the true identity of each chocolate. For added pizzazz in a group of true chocolate lovers, develop a chocolate trivia quiz, and give out prizes for the top scorers. (Q: Who was the first European to come in contact with cacao? A: Christopher Columbus.)

Another option for the holidays or any other time of year is a chocolate dessert party. Each guest brings a chocolate dessert, which is then divided up among the other guests, who then take home a veritable smorgasbord of chocolate. For true chocolate lovers, this is a very egalitarian party – there’s no need for everyone to spend hours in the kitchen trying to make the perfect chocolate soufflé. That’s because, in our eyes, a rich chewy brownie is just as delectable as the most delicate Sachertorte.

If you want to go one step further – or to non-chocoholics, one step overboard – you can create a whole dinner out of chocolate. With a pasta machine, chocolate noodles are a snap; create a light, fruity sauce and your guess will swoon. Use a hint of chocolate in sauces for beef, or go south of the border and whip up a mole sauce of chiles and chocolate for a Mexican feast. If eggnog is a must for your holiday gathering, melt semisweet chocolate into the milk before combining with the other ingredients. One piece of advice: pass on trying to make the chocolate ravioli!

Even if you won’t be hosting a holiday party this season, chances are you’ll be a guest at one. Chocolate can make for intriguing variations on the typical hostess gifts. Instead of sending flowers the day after the party, why not send a dozen strawberry roses from Shari’s Berries (www.berries.com)? Gourmet chocolate-dipped strawberries are their specialty, but they also offer other delightful hostess gifts.

Likewise, Pinterest offers a variety of gorgeous and intriguing “flower” arrangement ideas, including some made from Hershey’s Kisses and Ghirardelli chocolate bars.

Or instead of arriving with a bottle of wine in hand, why not bring a bottle of Godiva Liqueur (www.bevmo.com)? Over ice or over ice cream, the dark original liqueur or the white chocolate version will leave them screaming for more.

This holiday season, let’s put pumpkin pie in perspective, pass on the sugar cookies and dump the fruitcake. Instead, let’s deck the halls with bouquets of chocolate.

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Chocolate Bits

• The cacao tree, from which chocolate is derived, grows near the equator
• White chocolate really isn’t, since it is made from cocoa butter, rather than cacao beans
• The difference between bittersweet, semisweet and milk chocolates is the ratio of cocoa solids, sugar and total fat content. Bittersweet has the highest proportion of cocoa solids (60% or more) while milk chocolate has about 36%
• Eating chocolate may make you feel good because it contains the neurotransmitter anandamide, which has a similar effect on the brain as the active ingredient in marijuana
• The scientific name for the cacao tree, Theobroma cacao, means “food-of-the-gods cacao”

Sources: www.exploratorium.edu; The Chocolate Bible, by Christian Teubner; The New Taste of Chocolate, by Maricel Presilla

Tipton designs for the 20- or 30-something woman who is a “chic rocker.” Her styles feature bold colors and patterns. The size chart on her website indicates that her line runs from size 10-12 to size 30-32 (6X).

Tipton designed her first plus-size collection in college, and says she wants to be “America’s best plus-sized designer.”

Project Runway premieres August 6, 2015 on Lifetime. Here’s a Project Runway tour of Tipton’s home studio.

Greenhalgh, who is a professor of anthropology at Harvard, presents a collection of 45 narratives gathered from college students about their concepts of weight, fat, and body image. She finds that decades of “fat talk” has damaged and shamed young people in a variety of ways.

Greenhalgh notes that it’s been 15 years since the public health campaign has been launched, but in reality it’s been 21 years since Hillary Clinton and former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop launched “Shape Up America” in the White House Rose Garden. I remember that day well, since Lynn McAfee (one of the foremothers of the fat acceptance movement) and I protested the announcement on the sidewalk in front of the White House.

The other bookend to weight shaming is First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign, launched in February 2010 to specifically target fat children. In an email exchange between Greenhalgh and NPR contributor Barbara King, Greenhalgh wrote, “All of us are making war on fat through constant fat-talk. Yet because very few people can lose weight and keep it off, the pervasive fat-talk does not have its intended effect; instead, it is causing terrible, yet often, invisible harm.”

She continues, “The harm to individuals includes emotional distress and, often, physical injury from trying too hard to lose weight. The war on fat is also damaging critical social relationships, especially the crucial bond between mother and daughter. The stigma and discrimination against fat people are now well known; what isn’t known is that the human costs of the war on fat itself are harmful to people of all sizes and to us as a nation.”

Fat children don’t have a safe haven. Schoolmates bully fat kids, but parents often don’t rally to their children’s defense. In fact, many parents are embarrassed by their fat kids and view bullying as further evidence that their child should redouble his or her efforts to lose weight. The education system reinforces fat shaming. When my son was in elementary school, the school had an annual assembly featuring “Mr. Slimbody Goodbody” – at least until I managed to stop it by pointing out that fat kids were getting the message that fat bodies were bad bodies.

In ninth grade, California high school students are required to pass five of six physical fitness tests. If they don’t, they must continue to take P.E. and be retested each year until they take it. Here’s the catch. One of the six “fitness tests” is “body composition,” using skinfold measurements, body mass index (BMI), or a bioelectric impedance analyzer. In other words, if a child fat, s/he already has one strike; s/he must pass each of the five other tests: one mile run, curl-ups, push-ups, trunk lift, and shoulder stretch. Then, of course, there’s the humiliation of being weighed or having your fat pinched at school.

Nowhere is there a recognition that fit bodies come in all sizes; on the contrary, high schools are reinforcing the idea that the only good bodies are slim bodies.

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I pondered this rather bleak-sounding prognosis for a moment, thinking that it confirmed a lot of my and my friends’ experiences with sex in relationships – after awhile, it feels like there’s nothing new to discover, and everything sort of becomes old hat, routine – and then suddenly my friend’s grandmother totally derailed my train of thought.

“But I don’t know,” she said. “Me and the mister, well, we never did have a penny jar, but if we did, I think by now we’d be in a pile of debt!”

As it turned out, her 50-plus year marriage was still sexually vigorous and exciting, and she was, quite justifiably, tickled pink about it. How nice to know that it really is possible! We chatted more, and in the years since I had that conversation, I’ve often thought about what it takes to keep the sexual parts of a long-term relationship alive. I’ve talked to long-term couples, psychologists, my own partners, and to my fellow sex educators. While everyone agrees that there’s no “magic bullet” that is guaranteed to keep sex hot forever, it also doesn’t happen on its own. Here are some thoughts, tips, and techniques that can go a long way to help cause a severe shortage of pennies in your penny jar.

Cheap Motel Therapy – A few years back, I wrote an article about liking to go on road trips with my sweetie because I love doing the wild thing in cheap motels. I got a flood of responses from people who were thrilled to know there was someone else who liked cheap motels as much as they did, including many from women and men who used a little overnight or weekend trip to some nearby roadhouse as a way to jump-start their sex lives. Being in an anonymous little room gives us all a bit of a blank slate, a chance to let our wild side out to play. Bonus: you don’t have to wash the sheets!

Reach Out and Touch Someone – “Seventy percent of backrubs lead to sex,” a guy who was trying to seduce me once told me. Now, that may or may not be true – consider the source and what he was trying to accomplish – but it’s no secret that many a sexy interlude begins with sweet touching, stroking and massaging. Been awhile since you ran your hands up the backs of your sweetie’s thighs? Can’t remember the last time your significant other gave you a headrub? There’s no time like the present to trade a few strokes.

Go Head to Head – A little change in perspective can do amazing things. Lie flat on your backs with your feet in opposite directions but your heads side by side. You can still feel your partner’s presence, hear them and talk to them, but you can’t really see them. Do you feel how soft and warm your partner’s face feels next to yours, how intimate that seems? Whispering little secrets, maybe about things you’ve wanted to try or reminiscing about torrid times past, seems to come naturally when you lie head to head. When the talking gets juicy, don’t forget to let your fingers do some walking, stroking your own body and, if you want to, your partner’s head – ears, lips, scalp, forehead and cheeks are all very sensitive to erotic touch. Who thought putting your heads together would get you so turned on?

Schedule Some Nude Time – These days, we all have to schedule time to give our lives a chance, and that includes our sex lives. Pick one evening (or another time that works for you and your partner – at least three or four hours) every week, clear the decks and make it your time just to be together. Turn off the TV, take the phone off the hook, take your clothes off and get comfy. You don’t have to immediately start having sex – that’s not the point. The point is to have a chance to talk, and to remember that this other person in your life is more than just a housemate and a co-parent, but also a vulnerable, feeling, thinking, warm, lovable human being. It doesn’t always end in sex, and that’s okay. Just spending that kind of intimate time together can make for much better sex down the road.

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Fortunately, this pleasant practice is at last catching on in America, and we’ve finally discovered the joys of outdoor dining without its labor-intensive companion, the barbecue. We’ve found out it’s fun and refreshing to just have a bite or a meal in the sun-or-star shine. And that we needn’t travel to France – or to a restaurant – to enjoy the experience. Whether it’s morning coffee and croissants on the patio, lunch around the pool or a candlelight dinner on a card table set up in the driveway, most of us have the means to enjoy open-air dining.

The main objective of al fresco is pleasure for everyone concerned and that includes the “chef.” For this reason, the menu needs to be a simple and easily moveable feast. A one-dish meal is the best possible choice, keeping one from running in and out of the house a zillion times. Pretty paper tablecloths and plates are a good choice as well, making cleanup as breezy as your surroundings. So don’t fuss unless there’s a super-special reason.

Breakfast (or brunch) is one of the best times to dine out of doors. Most of the bugs are still asleep, the air is the cleanest it will be all day, and it’s just such an invigorating time to be out in the ether. Also, traditional morning dishes with ingredients like egg and cheese are perfect because they hold well and don’t have to be served piping hot.

Every cook has a recipe for an egg dish you make the night before, but you’ll find two more on these pages, one perfect for breakfast and the other made to order for brunch or lunch.

With all the bad rap eggs have gotten the past few years, these two yummy recipes from the American Egg Board take care to make up for the richness of their product by keeping the other ingredients low in fat.

Benedict Strata

• 1 package (12 ounces) English muffins
• 6 slices (4 oz) Canadian bacon, chopped
• 6 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups low-fat milk
• 3 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 3 teaspoons grated lemon peel
• Chives and lemon slices for decoration

Split muffins and cut into cubes. Alternate even layers of muffin cubes and bacon in lightly greased 8″x8″x2″ baking dish. Blend together other ingredients and pour evenly over muffin-bacon mixture. Cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight. Then uncover and bake in a preheated 350 degree oven until golden brown and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean, about 50 to 60 minutes. Garnish with chives and lemon slices if desired.

Veggie Strata

• 6 slices day-old bread
• 1 to 2 cups chopped cooked vegetables
• 1/2 cup shredded low-fat Cheddar cheese
• 6 eggs
• 1 can low-fat reduced-sodium condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
• 1/2 cup non- or low-fat milk
• 1 teaspoon prepared mustard
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed basil leaves
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper or to taste

Evenly coat an 8″x8″x2″ (or 2-quart rectangular) baking dish with cooking spray. Cut bread into 1/2″ cubes and place half in baking dish. Evenly sprinkle veggies and cheese over cubes. Sprinkle with remaining cubes. Beat together eggs, soup, milk and seasonings. Pour over bread-vegetable mixture, cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven until knife inserted near center comes out clean and top is golden brown, about 50 to 60 minutes.

For a simpler but mighty zippy egg bake, try this wake up call for the taste buds. Sprinkle 2/3 cup chopped green onion and 1/2 cup seeded and minced jalapeño peppers in an oiled 9″ pie plate. Cover with 1 cup Jarlsberg cheese. Top with 6 beaten eggs (or equivalent egg substitute). Bake at 350( for about 30 minutes or until set. Cool ten minutes, cut into wedges to serve. Keep the number of the fire department handy!

Perfect accompaniments for any of these eggy treats would be crusty bread to tear-not-slice, a pot or thermos of coffee and a bowl of fruit.

If you’re short on time or just want to spend most of it out in the zephyrs, boil eggs to almost-hard, and serve them warm with a basket of muffins, coffee and the best oranges you can buy.

For outdoor lunches or dinners, stick to the same one-dish premise – salads, pasta and the like, with additions such as seafood or chicken. If you have children or if you’re just in the mood, a pot of Sloppy Joes and a huge bowl of buns make for a great do-it-yourself outdoor meal.

For an afternoon treat, brew a pot of your favorite tea and fill those handy little phyllo pastry shells with something delicious be it sweet or savory One great way to serve phyllo is to fill them with a mixture of goat cheese and yogurt.

Please don’t go “argh!” if you find the above too pungent or if you simply have fear of goat cheese because it’s too trendy or sounds yucky. Instead, take a walk on the mild side with a version called Snøfrisk (or “snow fresh” in Norwegian). Available in the deli section, this mixture is 80% alpine and 20% bovine and there’s just enough cows’ cream in it to deliciously smooth out the edges. In fact, it’s so good it should be illegal!

Just melt Snøfrisk with your favorite flavored yogurt, or mix it with plain yogurt and add brown sugar to taste. Top with fresh berries and you have a treat that’s perfect for enjoying al fresco and pretty enough to please Mother Nature. If you can’t find phyllo shells in your market’s freezer, call the Fillo Factory 1-800-OKFILLO for information on availability in your area.

For another afternoon delight, work the following into 8 ounces of low-fat cottage cheese: 1/2 cup minced fresh cilantro or parsley, 1/2 cup bottled salsa (temperature of choice), 1 teaspoon celery seed, 1/4 cup dill pickle relish. When well mixed and mashed, add 1 cup grated Jarlsberg cheese. If you’re into making it beautiful, stuff the final product into a head of cabbage or lettuce that’s has been cleaned, trimmed and hollowed out. Serve with crusty bread, assorted crackers and/or crudités for dipping.

Al fresco is also the perfect place for culinary efforts on the messy side. For instance, it’s a great place to make caramel apples. Just provide a bowl of apples, the necessary sticks and your own favorite coating in a chafing dish or fondue pot (they’re both making a comeback so it’s time to dig them out of that closet in the middle bedroom). Kids will need supervision and help with this project, of course, but it’s also a lot of fun for adults-only.

Also making a comeback are S’mores, a toasted marshmallow and a chocolate square in between two graham crackers. They’re even featuring this original Girl Scout camping treat in restaurants, some of which bring a little brazier of hot coals to your table for toasting your own marshmallows. But you can provide each person with an individual votive candle along with all the ingredients. The toasting takes longer but is safer, and if night has fallen, a twinkly treat for the eye is a bonus.

So here’s to dining out of doors, in the fragrance of the day or evening. It’s a boost to the senses and the spirit to break bread in our natural habitat. If we haven’t made it simple enough for you, try this: A blanket, a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and please pass the thou.

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